I find something alluring in typing to no one

A miscellany, if you will.

Things that I like.

Autumn leaves falling on green grass
standing under grape vines
rain drops cold on skin
blue-black night skies and
wind howling

the way old books smell, right off the shelf
old pictures with smiling faces
cold mornings and hot breakfast
a smile that reaches all the way
to your toes and back up

music you can close your eyes to
songs that make you dance
a drink thats too strong
good times that don't end
until the time is just right

Sad....

I want my high school body baaaacckkkk.................

I wish I still had that snobby " I only eat healthy food" attitude back where I looked with disdain at anything fried or processed.

That was back before all night partying at fraternity houses and living with roomates.

Back before I realized the genius of Ramen and the convenience of a Mcdouble with fries for only $2.17.

Sad, Sad day.

I. ALWAYS. Do. This.

SO , here I am jazzed up on coffee at two a.m., supposed to be studying for a test. What am I doing? Not studying . Thats for darn sure.

I am however, listening to Eric Hutcinson, whom I have adored for the past two years, but just recently got my roommates hooked on :) If this were facebook, I would "like" this. Bethany learned "Oh" and I got to sing and Elisa harmonized- so fun. I wish I could quit school and fiddle around with musical people for as long as I lived. Once I find my camera cable I think I will post the video... very amusing.

Also, I realized tonight how quickly I have blown through my school money- yikes. I do NOT " like" this. I love to make budgets but can't stick to them. Its because I eat out and tip like I'm a big shot. I also realized that my savings account has like a 1 percent interest rate.....1 percent....I'm LOSING money when you think about the rate of inflation (thanks Washington)... what a crock.

I think money is a concept made just to make people work for stuff they don't need. I hate it, hate handling it at the cash register, hate having to pay for things with it, hate the fact that the whole world spins around on a set of values predetermined by someone somewhere else and then the markets take control with all of the rises and falls, bleh. If only we lived like in Ishmael and were leavers instead of takers. I love that book...

Speaking of books, I have developed a running list of things I want for Christmas, I'll read anythins but goodness knows I love me some historical fiction and fantasy...

So... its been a while

okay, so its been a while since i have gotten on this blog and i have realized that I only do this when i am up too late and start letting my mind ramble on.

I have an odd way of executing retail therapy. I have a kinda mixed up relationship with the mirror right now so clothes don't really do it for me, therefore i went on ebay and bought this...



Its a really retro 70's science fiction series that my uncles read that I found in my grandmother's attic, there are 10 books in all and I only found 6- which means i had to find it. I searched , I found, I'll recieve the book and all will be well in my world. Problem, solution. Retail therapy at its finest.

Also, I haven't posted any pictures from my world travels. Let me break it down for the masses- Costa Rica and Panama are beautiful. It was such an amazing experience I cannot wait to go back for longer. My Spanish skills are so much better, in fact, my boyfriend and I have taken to speaking it around our friends whenever we drink- we think its funny and they think its... annoying.

Ill upload some pics and unload some of my memories later.

Its Cinco de Mayo!!

.... and I have nothing to do but work. The boyfriend got a bad sunburn and poison from a fig tree root, from which the stress induced his body to break out in hives... otherwise known as shingles. This is not fun, he is moody,and I am bored.

Anyways, just to shed some light to people who don't know, retail is possibly the worst service industry to go into, worse than waitressing by far. People wreck tables, destroy dressing rooms, return items they have clearly worn just so they can get back some money they shouldn't have spent in the first place, and basically make me want to flip script and make them all leave.

My manager went to the doctor the other day and brought back those surgical masks like people wear in Asia to protect against avaian flu, since the whole "H1- N1" virus or whatever is rampaging through the north american continent . I thought it would be a brilliant idea if all of us at work wore them to ward off customers... just tell them we were being cautious against an outbreak, I swear they would turn around and leave- then maybe I could complete a display before having to unlock a dressing room for someone wanting to try on 3 articles of clothing in the same size and color. ....

or... my manager's husband broke his leg. In several places. It is really gross and she had pictures from the hospital before they put in screws and other such medical thingsmabobbers. Anyways, I saw them and said we should put the picture on the t-shirt table with a lable that says " this is what happens when you shoplift", or " this is what happens when you pick up t-shirts and mess up the entire table."

I guess I'm a little bitter.

I'm sorry.

It just has to come out somewhere.

Nothing wrong with Doodling...

So its pretty much safe to say I have lost most of my ambition and all of my patience for school. Really, I am just wasting time until I get to spend a lovely month in Costa Rica and Panama... it will be a much needed break... unless of course the Panama end falls through because the boyfriend and I have a catastrophic break- up, which isn't impossible- its been a rough couple of days.

Anyway, today I accidentally fell asleep in class during lecture and made a squiggly like on the top of my paper. In my grogginess I thought to myself, "hey, that looks like a sea dragon."

So I finished it - he's a cute little fella!

Why I Like My Title

These are the lyrics to Missy Higgin's song Scar... which I tried to ilegally download about fifty times and it never worked and that was like 6 months ago before my computer crashed... I love it so , but anyways I feel like this song quite freqently-

He left a card and a bar of soap
And a scrubbing brush next to a note
That "Use this down to your bones"
So before I knew I had shiny skin
And I felt easy being clean like him
I thought this one knows better than I do

A triangle trying to squeeze through a circle
He tried to cut me so I'd fit

Doesn't that seem familiar ,Doesn't that hit too close to home?
Doesn't that make you shiver , the way things could have gone?
And doesn't it feel peculiar when everyone wants a little more
And so that I do remember to never go that far
Could you leave me with a scar?

So the next one came with a bag of treats
She smelled like summer and spoke like the sea
And told me "don't trust them trust me"
Well she pulled out my stiches one by one
And looked at my insides clicking her tongue
And said" this will all have to come undone"

A triangle trying to squeeze through a circle
She tried to blunt me so I'd fit

And doesn't that seem familiar? DOesn't that hit too close to home?
Doesn't it make you shiver the way things could have gone.
And doens't it feel peculiar when everyone wants a little more
So that I do remember to never go that far
could you leave me with a scar?

( and this is my favorite part)
I realized just in time , although my old self was hard to find
You can bathe me in your finest wine but I'll never give you mine
Cause I'm a little bit tired of fearing that I'll be the bad fruit nobody buys
Tell me did you think we'd all dream the same?

And doesn't it seem familar , and doesn't it hit to close to home ?
DOesn't it make you shiver , the way things could have gone?
And doesn't it feel pecuiar when everyone wants a little more
So that I do remember to never go that far

Could you leave me with a scar?
Could you leave me with a scar?
COuld you leave me with a scar?